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Below is a personal statement from a recent applicant for A100 Medicine at Oxford. It is not perfect and it may not be suited to every medical school. There is no single template for success in terms of an application to Oxford. Other styles can be equally effective: we encourage individuality and diversity in our students. This statement is however a good example for an Oxford application because it helps us see that the applicant is attempting to match ourselection criteria.
An applicant's personal statement is likely to be discussed by tutors during interview.
A well-written statement will not in isolation gain you an interview or a place. It forms one part of an application from a gifted applicant that can be considered alongside other information - academic record, BMAT score, school reference, interview performance - in the selection process at Oxford.
Statement & comments
Choosing to study medicine is not a decision I have taken lightly. It isn't a career I have wanted to do since a particularly young age, nor did a life changing event prompt my choice. I have thought very long and hard before deciding to apply.
Admissions tutors may be sceptical of exaggerated descriptions of a revelatory moment or lifelong desire to become a doctor.
At first glance, this might seem like a down-beat opening paragraph. Although you may think that an arresting opening statement will impress, admissions tutors may be sceptical of exaggerated descriptions of a revelatory moment or lifelong desire to become a doctor. This introduction shows honesty and a degree of introspection. Throughout the statement, the applicant works hard to show that they have a realistic view of medicine. You won't prove that you have the motivation for medicine by simply saying that you do: it is what you have done to inform yourself about the career - and the views that you have formed - that will convince us that you really know what being a doctor is like and that this is what you want to do.
Various periods of work experience have taught me much about the career. A local hospital placement gave me the opportunity to visit A&E, Radiology and Obstetrics and Gynaecology.
You won't prove that you have the motivation for medicine by simply saying that you do.
Whilst fleeting, these visits to the departments highlighted the variety and diversity of the fascinating specialities medicine encompasses. A placement shadowing a clinic staff was hugely informative regarding daily life as a doctor. During the day I sat in on consultations ranging from routine post natal checkups to discussions of treatment for young people with diabetes and overactive thyroid glands.
You won't be judged on what you've done: we want to know what you learned from doing it.
This student describes their experiences of healthcare that have helped them decide that they want to study and practise medicine. We understand that opportunities to obtain experience vary, so you won't be judged on what you've done: we want to know what you learned from doing it. The description of the placements here isn't over-exaggerated, and the applicant takes care to explain what they have seen and done and the insight each opportunity afforded them. The relatively detailed account of the infant's check-up conveys the impression of engagement during the placement and suggests an intellectual curiosity to understand the infant's condition and its treatment. The applicant also takes care to point out an example of the importance of good communication skills and argues how their sales position has helped them develop such skills.
Throughout my time there the doctor's genuine interest in his cases and unfaltering motivation highlighted to me the privilege of having such a stimulating profession. This, together with the ever advancing nature of a career in medicine, was brought to the fore by an infant who was having a check up as a result of her being put on an ECMO machine after her birth with Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. The ease with which the doctor broached and dealt with sensitive subject matter also emphasised the importance of a warm, approachable manner and an ability to communicate to a person on their level of understanding. I believe I have honed these skills and gained invaluable experience of the eccentricities of the general public myself in my job as a salesperson.
It is important to convey an impression of engagement and intellectual curiosity when talking about any work experience/placement/voluntary work.
Since February of this year I have volunteered in a care home for a couple of hours each week. I assist with serving meals to the residents as well as feeding one of the more infirm ladies. My time there has brought to my attention the more unpleasant side of medicine and has proved by far the most useful work experience I have had; preparing me for the stark realities of physical ageing and senility. In spite of this, I genuinely enjoy my time there; giving residents, some of whom go months without visitors, 10 minutes of my time to chat can be very rewarding in the obvious enjoyment they get from it. The experience has shown me very clearly the importance of caring for the emotional as well as the physical needs of patients.
The applicant presents evidence that they have become well-informed about the realities of healthcare.
This paragraph reaffirms the applicant's motivation for medicine. They admit that working in a nursing home is not glamorous but explain how rewarding it has been. There is evidence of analytical skills here and there is no doubt that the applicant has become well-informed about the realities of healthcare. Empathy comes across as well, with the applicant recognising that a brief interaction can have such a positive effect on the overlooked residents of the home.
Outside of my lessons I enjoy orienteering with a local club. As part of an expedition I took part in, we walked 80km over 4 days in torrential rain. The challenging conditions demanded teamwork and trust to maintain morale and perform effectively as a group; as well as calm rational thought in stressful situations. Also, through this activity and the people I met, I have become a member of the SJA which has enabled me to gain first aid qualifications and go out on duties.
Although the bulk of a personal statement should be academic-related, it is important to show a life outside of studying. The involvement in a club or association demonstrates wider spare time interests, and the description of the challenging walking expedition provides evidence that the student can work with others and can cope in an arduous situation, obliquely suggesting that they might have the capacity for sustained and intense work. The student also shows that they understand that taking time out to relax and manage any stress is important, and conveys the impression of good time management. The passing reference to the drama group reinforces the impression that this applicant is a team-player. It is useful to describe sporting or musical interests although, as, this applicant shows, these non-academic interests don't need to be particularly high-powered ones.
Other activities I enjoy include drama - I was a member of a local group for 6 years - cycling and playing the guitar and piano which allow me to relax.
Non-academic interests don't need to be particularly high-powered.
I know that medicine is not a "9 to 5" job and is by no means the glamorous source of easy money it is often perceived to be. I understand the hours are long and potentially antisocial and that the career can be physically exhausting and emotionally draining. It is apparent that becoming a medic will involve inherent sacrifice.
However medicine is also a deeply gratifying and fascinating career path. I want to be a medic because my passion and aptitude is foremost scientific and to me 5 or 6 years more of formal education followed by a lifetime of further learning sounds like a stimulating career option and, thankfully, a far cry from the monotony some jobs pose. Nevertheless, as an intrinsically social person, I would relish a career requiring the development of strong empathic relationships with patients too. Crucially, I know I have the enthusiasm, capacity for hard work and the open and enquiring mind needed to succeed in such a fulfilling vocation.
Fact-finding placements have given the applicant insight and motivation in order to decide upon a a career in medicine.
In the concluding paragraphs, the statement is emphasising that, although aware of the negative aspects associated with the practice of medicine, fact-finding placements have given the applicant the insight and motivation to be certain that it is the right career for them. The applicant ends by summarising the key personal attributes that they believe make them well-suited to medicine.
Verdict and advice for improvement
Of course, there is room for improvement with this statement. No reference is made to the scientific subjects that are being studied at school or to particular modules that the applicant has found particularly exciting: this could have helped convey enthusiasm and curiosity in science. Although the applicant asserts that they have an 'open and enquiring mind', there is no description of any extracurricular project or reading that the applicant might have undertaken, perhaps to help them understand a highly-charged ethical issue.
Despite those omissions, this is an effective personal statement. It is well constructed, connects with the reader, and the material flows in a logical sequence. It further conveys the impression that the applicant has done the research and knows exactly what is in store: they are not applying with a naive view or because that is what is expected of them. Writing a statement along these lines would provide a good foundation for a competitive applicant and offers lots of material that can be discussed at an interview.
In this post, I will show you the 6 step process to write a personal statement for medical school that is impactful and persuasive.
Your AMCAS personal statement is the single most important piece of your med school application because it is your opportunity to consciously control how you are perceived by the med school admissions committee.
By the time you begin filling out your application, your MCAT and GPA will be unchangeable and cold numbers alone might not convince an admissions committee that you are an exemplary applicant prepared to thrive in a rigorous medical program. And unlike a statement of purpose for graduate school or residency, consider your med school personal statement a “written interview” that gives you the opportunity to show why you are a unique and promising individual within a massive field of applicants.
Stuck on your med school personal statement?
Here’s the tough part: The prompt for the medical school application essay — aka the AMCAS personal statement — (which says, in part, “Use this section to compose a personal essay explaining hwy you selected the field of medicine, what motivates you to learn more about medicine…”) is so open-ended that the vast majority of pre-med students have no idea how to approach the medical school personal statement with a strategy that will create persuasive results.
Many medical school applicants rely on tired techniques in their admission essay, like chronological storytelling: “I was born, I went to school and got good grades, now I want to be a doctor” (SNOOZE) and they write their essay with no structure, theme or imagination.
A personal statement for medical school written without a clear theme and structure won’t pull your reader in; it will bore them and push them away.
It’s easy to get stuck after you complete your first med school personal statement draft because you might not be confident that your approach to the personal statement for medical school is good because you don’t have a successful model to follow.
Below is a video I made with a student who wanted to know if his med school personal statement was “good enough.”
Get our medical school personal statement samples.
How to write an outstanding med school personal statement
Follow the steps below as you begin writing your medical school admissions essay and you’ll many of the common pitfalls and stumbling points experienced by applicants. This advice has helped guide hundreds of students write compelling and successful med school personal statements that got them admitted to medical school.
Step 1. Map out the entire structure of your paper to ensure that your med school personal statement follows a clear theme. Every anecdote you include or reflection you make should clearly fit into your strategic framework and remind your reader what your motivations are.
Step 2. Excite your reader with life-changing stories from your past — ones that inspired your passions or gave you direction in life — and discuss how these incidents changed you as a person. These riveting stories will become the focus of your medical school personal statement even if they are not medically related. Big hint: Any type of story can work as long as it demonstrates personal growth and motivation.
Step 3. Use interesting writing techniques like simile and metaphor to “show” rather than “tell” information to your reader. Plain, unimaginative writing will BORE your reader.
Step 4. Avoid repetitive statements that don’t add anything new to your ideas and waste valuable character space. Be concise!
Step 5. The AMCAS application electronically limits the length of your AMCAS personal statement to 5300 characters. Spaces, punctuation marks and paragraph breaks all count as characters.
Step 6. Model your essay after past successful med school personal statements. You are much more likely to create a successful personal statement for medical school if you approach it with writing strategies that have worked for applicants in the past. Use sample essays, sample outlines and writing instructions. This strategy will reduce the heartache and stress that many pre-meds experience while writing their med school personal statements because this approach shows you exactly how to layout your medical school admissions essay with content that will be engaging and memorable.
Sample Personal Statements make your life easier
You absolutely must have example essays, like our medical school personal statements.
Sample personal statements will help you get a massive head start because you’ll see not only the format, but many examples of what other students have written. One thing to be aware of is that some student samples may not fit your situation specifically, so you want to look for some samples that match you and your experiences, as well as your MCAT score and GPA.
That’s why I created Personal Statement Secrets. Personal Statement Secrets includes 25 example personal statements, and also include step-by-step instructions on how to write the personal statement. There are also several personal statement templatesincluded that will show you how to easily and persuasively structure your ideas.
I also really like the video critiques of several essays that I have done with previous students that are included in personal statement secrets. You’ll find the conversation with the students really enlightening, as I go through line by line of each student essay and help them understand how to make their essay more persuasive and more impactful on the admissions committee.
A friend of mine was recently with an admissions committee member for a University of California system medical school and he told her just how important the personal statement is to University of California medical schools.
He said, “Most students don’t realize just how much emphasis we, in the admissions committee, place on the content of the personal statement. The help that you’re giving to students is extremely important and you’re right on track.”
Get our sample medical school personal statements.
So, now you know the main tricks on how to write a personal statement for medical school admissions. Good luck!
This article was originally posted at PersonalStatementSecrets.com by Don Osborne.
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Filed Under: Medical School Personal Statement, Posts - Personal Statement